Unsolicited dick pic

Social media may be the most important tool to come along within my lifetime. It has completely changed how we communicate.

There was once a time that we actually had to pass notes to girls asking them to look at our dick.

Then, life changed and we could just text them and ask if they’d please take a look. This was nice, but soon after this occurrence, we could suddenly use our phone to simply take a picture and send it! No more long delays of having to find out if anyone truly wanted to see our dicks!

Now, we can send dick pics that disappear after a few seconds, which is probably a more realistic way to look at erections anyway. Perfect.

The content of the current news cycles and the information that most people share in today’s world is honestly less value than a disappearing dick pic. The misinformed masses are now able to share and promote stories that have zero validity and completely sway everything from elections, to marketing campaigns, to the hiring of a college football coach. Fact checking isn’t needed. If an untrue headline catches someone’s interest, they share with 100s of other misinformed loons who then share it with 1000s more misinformed loons.

Please, from now on, STOP SHARING UNSUBSTANTIATED NEWS STORIES. Do us all a favor, if you don’t have time to look into the topic you’re pretending you care about, do us all a favor and just send a dick pic.

Don Draper, Tony Stark, and the pussification of America

With every refresh of the news cycle, more allegations of sexual misconduct are announced, more careers are derailed, and more people suddenly are thrust into the spotlight.

First, before things come completely unhinged, I need to go on the record and say that I am sympathetic with anyone that has truly been hurt by any other person. Any form of true abuse should not be tolerated.

That said, we need to make sure we are truly looking at whether or not people are truly hurt, truly damaged, truly pushed into situations that they were not capable of handling without media attention. We need to make sure we aren’t simply catering to a lot of people that would rather complain or bitch or moan rather than fight to survive.

There’s a reason that Don Draper and Tony Stark are popular fictional characters. There’s a reason we have opposable thumbs. The strong, powerful, smart, and attractive are driving forces in society. They’re the people that men and women look up to (even if they hate them at the same time).

People that are driven are going to take chances and try to get what they want. People that are successful are accustomed to getting what they want and they’re going to keep pushing for more. If you don’t want to give in, don’t. Become more powerful than them. Grow an extra thumb and prove yourself to be the next step in evolution. Be the person that people aspire to, not the one that got upset because someone hit on you when they were drunk.

Acting like our current lineup of actors and politicians were the first womanizers, predators, and players is asinine. Social media, mobile phones, and digital cameras make it easier to get caught and easier to spread the word, but this isn’t new. Look at famous men throughout history, if you think they didn’t bend a subordinate over the woodpile you’re fooling yourself.

As a male, I have to say that women have called out things to me that I’d never have dreamed of saying to them. Men and women have instincts that sometimes come out. I’ve never been offended at the random foot in my crotch at a table or hand brushing across my crotch. One of my bosses, female, put me in a very bad position once and I turned her down….and lost my job. I stood up at the time, didn’t wait 25 years, and moved on.

There are a lot of genuinely bad stories in the news. There are a lot of bad rumors in the news. There are also a lot of things out there that simply need to be left out of the spotlight.

Again, for anyone genuinely hurt, I’m very sorry. For those of you that are giving far too much credence to the current hot-button of inappropriate conduct, go fuck yourselves (but make sure you get your own permission first).

Fake news isn’t new news

Fake news is getting a lot of attention as of late. It’s not something new. What’s new is the fact that the public isn’t smart enough to tell the difference, they don’t look for anything deeper than the headline that flashed across their Facebook feed. In short, people have gotten stupid and lazy.

I miss the Weekly World News, a throwback to the day when the public was smart enough to discern fact from fiction. If Bat Boy had come along today, mass hysteria would ensue and the Democratic party would assume he somehow influenced the election.